(teresa's room looks like a neutral milk hotel song)
haahah we're fucking gorgeous up in here

newlifestylesongchoice:
"whoo alright yah uh huh" - the rapture

dance dance DANCE!

cant wait to go home and dance
cant wait for teresa to come home and dance
cant wait to dance right NOW

i miss home so much
but i feel like i don't deserve to come home
until i've actually started producing and moving forward
so time to START
and when i go home everything will flow so much eaaasier

i can't wait for christmas and new years. it's going to be wonderful

"we spend all of our time in life trying to give some of our time more meaning" - TRAGICALLY HIP

"the only time you ever waste (in life) is the time you spend thinking you're alone"-
THE VERY UNDERRATED MITCH ALBOM

"wtf? KETCHUP CHIPS?"
-dasha b

"YOU HAVENT CALLED ME FOR LIKE 9 DAYS WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD"
-matthew davis

"no more liplocking for the rest of the night george (in a british accent - i also laughed at this just now haha)" - princess ANASTASIA OLOWIN - boxcloset member

"USA! USA! USA!"-
MICHAEL TAUSCHER - boxcloset member

"hey everyone, i miss you. i'll be home soon, ready to give up all my inhibitions and charge courageously into the next part of my life. this trip was really good for me. teresa was right, i need to stop being so goddamn serious. i miss being charming and flirtatious with EVERYTHING (EVERYONE)"- george HA - boxcloset member

i'll be home on tuesday, i bought the plane ticket ( i am BROKE ), so expect me there.

also, i'm ready to get my life back on track. school, job, all that, no more wandering around, i've got company to keep up with here.
i love it
i love it
i l ove it
i told dom that i was happy travelling and happy looking forward to all the things i want to get accomplished at home, the paintings, the music, the FILMS

it'll be fucking fantastic boy - caribbeans

the weather here in winnipeg is SO ridiculous it makes me laugh

i can't even lift my head while walking outside because my face is constantly being bombarded by snow

it's unlike anything i've ever seen before,
but yet
i feel like christmas wouldn't be the same without snow like this

flufffff

laura said...

who the fuck is princess anastasia?


my reply (teresa basically told me to loosen the fuck up cause i seem so serious about everything, and in essence, that destroys my charm - causes me to be SILENT) -

this crazy polish girl from new york who charms the hell out of me with her beautiful voice and her lovely accents. she also had never had a maple donut before, and i made fun of her about it and she said very sweetly, "hey, don't make fun of me" and that's the type of friendship we have.

a fuckin good one yo


so shutup laura i'm coming home mostly for you so SHUTUP
sHTUP
OKAY

cya soon dear

princess anastasia left this morning,
i didn't speak much this trip,
i've been a mess, but i did give her hugs and i did listen to every word,
and she has this great physique
nice lips
curly hair
she's so tall!
anyway,
i owe her a gorgeous painting for christmas. i'll have to start soon
i'm happy with the way things are with her. i backed away when i figured out we could only be temporary, though for the rest of our lives we can have cocktails and check up on each other, telling each other nice things because they feel good, complementing from the heart, contemplating WILDLY

for now however
i bought this really nice coat in montreal, at simon's
it was a hundred dollars, which is how much winter coats can go for (i was appalled by the high-rise ketchup-chip pricing, being from california of course) here.
everyone has one but me
anyway i got one
and i should probably get another beanie because mine was dirtied by the hall throughout the weekend, throughout ecastasy, throughout pot brownies, throughout card houses and egyptian ratscrew, between the biodome and pina coladas, between the joints and the green line, between the orange line and the cathedral, right next to me always while we were sleeping.
last night i kept trying to touch her hair with my hand, just to keep holding her there because god fucking damn it it's gonna be a while til i see her. i just realized that i didn't have much to say (this is a very tumultuous time in my life, just now discovering how truly warped my mind and country are) to her, and all i wanted to kiss her and let her know i understood and that i loved her for everything that she was

and i still do! i dont know how she feels about me, i just know that we'll always keep seeing each other, always leaving before things can go awry, just after the seventh cocktail, right before the second week of paradise

(god that biodome we went to was so cool. we saw this thing called like a cacelot or SOMETHING hideous like that, i've never seen it before. it was NICE!

and they had puffins! and room with just penguins! )

i sort of want to steer away from anastasia, but i think she deserves more credit than that. she has a gorgeous set of eyes lips and hair(curly curly BROWN) her neck is soft and fragile, and her physique is slender and nice, tall but SO nice to hold against and be against and at one time she called me her koala bear (pointed out my box said small box fuck im always such a little guy/oof), and i kissed her and she said no liplocking (ANDY) and i just laughed and called her beautiful, always sincere, because i always meant it

so that's enough about her for now though. i sort of want to call to make sure she got to new york okay, but i'm sure she'll be there when i call her on the way home, to check up on and things and everything.

i'm going to see starfish tomorrow. i just told her i was scared, and she said we'll see, and i said not because of that, because of winnipeg, but it wasn't really winnipeg. i've been scared to go home, but i'm also shaken up from the fact that our nation is just a bunch of idiot particles pushing against each other, wandering blindly into the forest, not knowing what to do and just loading up on guns

we're such a bunch of rowdy kids. how the FUCK did we spend 8 trillion dollars on mostly toys?
and worse especially, toys that KILL people?
these are scary times we live in. oceania fucking exists and EVERYONE knows but US

i haven't updated much; haven't talked to very many people at home

does everyone know how crazy america looks from the outside? montreal feels like home to me
everyone is sane here

i miss you guys, but i won't be home for a little while longer. it'll be soon enough though

the side of me that looks at all of this and laughs
will come out in montreal
start a jazz quartet
and finally get the drunkenness that he deserves

ee gave this to starfish who then gave it to me on my 18th birthday:
who knows if the moon's
a balloon,coming out of a keen city
in the sky--filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should

get into it,if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then we'd go up higher with all the pretty people

than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody's ever visited,where

always
it's
Spring)and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves
---------------------

it's time to finally float away;
everything is finally falling into place.
i can already see what montreal was supposed to do for me
and
it hasn't even happened yet!

looking forward has never looked so good. i found it starfish, i found what finally makes me happy








chemotherapy jokes and endless laughter after that

i say pretty a lot , ha ha ha

matt: "it's like whenever i clear it it feels like it's not being cleared (about a pipe)."

me: " that's because it's not."

matt: "oh, hahaha"

me: "wow way to bring attention to obvious things that require no explanation. that's like me going outside right now and saying 'man, it's really cold out here! ...weird'"
----------------------------------------
matt: "roger, i'm bored"

roger (a 6ft something caribbean guy from the netherlands): "jump up and down boy! just jump the FUCK up and down! pray with me boy, come down here and pray! do pushups, ten pushups right now! (while matt is doing pushups) look at you matt, so pathetic. look at you down there, look at your face"

me: " SWOOOOOOON "

also, to be sure,
many people ask me why i always mention the girls that have meant so much to me, and why i hardly ever mention the guys and it's because

if you me and your pueblos ( i know ) all moved to montreal and there was a sunflower there ready to be picked

it would be me her and the pueblos


and there wouldn't be a goddamn thing you could say about it

i also just think girls are prettier than us, i mean in general. i probably have an adoring lesbian fanbase who i would love to fucking party with

agenda:
rolling around in montreal with mike and anastasia like puppies, realizing our dream of having a jazz band and having a (nonexistant) thanksgiving with them;
abandoning old thoughts of lust and love, over someone whose brain and face i used to adore, but now, pacing every so confidently into the right direction,

i am ever so floaty
thinking about the girl(STARFISH) who would send me ee cummings poems on my birthday
and how i am going to charm the hell out of her
with a cornucopia that contains everything that's been ready to explode out of my heart and soul and mind
because she has been the only one that has had a beautiful set of everything


but dasha dear,
i went back in time using a time machine i bought here in philadelphia and though the liberty bell will never be the same, i thought it was fun when we would put it atop our heads and walk around like goons, you all the time asking "what the heck IS this" and i would emphatically reply, "a time machine!"
i made it a point for you to know that it would be eternally untrue if someone were to say "he never loved you,"
and now i want to make it a point for you to know that












that












that











the togo's turkey sandwich that you love so much has both of our names on it.















i miss everyone - especially dom and becky, because i think they should have come with me to montreal - but am desperate for new things and am finally ready to plow through canada frantically swinging at possible home runs and grand slams


oh, and so he doesn't feel that what he did for me was unappreciated, thanks matt for keeping me here so long. i probably smoked two thousand cigarettes in your room without you knowing about it, so thanks for putting up with me

i hate your goddamn town and state though, and when teresa asked me to tell her about it i really didn't know what to say.






godDAMN do i feel amazing
this is what i get to look forward to now:

- a french speaking town filled with hipsters and alcohol ready to nourish my bones
- a german-speaking (poor and forgotten) girl with blonde hair and blue eyes ready to jump my bones
- a russian and french speaking girl that is ready to get down to phantom limb
- a pueblo speaking girl that is ready to have the best christmas ever (oh little arizona artist, i am so ready to tell you everything that's been happening, goddamn you at the end makes me feel so happy to be going hoooooooooome)

BUT

if that german speaking girl decides to snatch me away (deservingly so)

you all must find it in your hearts to forgive me.

as dom said to me while rolling the other night,
"you're not crazy george, you're just depressed"


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODBYE BLUE MOON!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODBYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

agenda:
daydream
smoke
look ahead with new prospects
jump the fuck up and down

fuck im just gonna start believing that EVERYONE from my childhood is always getting stoned

so i've spent the last week getting out all the thoughts i want to be rid of

and now im thinking about the cornucopia of gifts im getting for starfish and that makes me really happy. i need to find a red sobe, remember those, long time readers?

i love being so talked about. the day after i told the girls i was going to philly dave calls me and says "you're going to philly?" and my sister walks into my room and says "you're going to philly?" and everyone is just calling me left and right saying "you're going to philly?" and the only real response i could muster was "ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

-------
kutztown, pa ART COLLEGE is the worst place in the world. becky and bom are rolling and i miss them a lot, i miss balan and baura and bave and bortney and barielle and basha and backie brown and blabse brabsenbach



but

NEW YORK WAS SO AMAZING!
i want to live there and never tour again

i'm going to update more i promise

oh this same old town keeps creeping up on me wherever i go
nonchalant trees and nonchalant people

looking forward with nothing to lose,
want to be great and unable to be easily mimicked


i woke up in fear but now i'm ready
chapter 3 begins now

shouldn't

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY TO THAT

now would be the right time to point out that i don't hate you aaron wagner. i just think it's silly that you read this thing wanting to beat me up hahaha

does anyone need a roommate? i have 20 bucks and some microwave burritos, though the 20 bucks is probably going to some poser version of the american flag

apparently my soulmate thinks i'm lagging behind, i'll be sure to make her proud in NYC.

(this one's for you. i agree with you though, probably about everything. harsh harsh, right right)

sketches

"TOM HANKS AIDS" - randy
(on where i am going next friday)


okay, well after looking around hanging around i realized i would probably love to move out to the city. i completely took for granted everyone in my life, and though i am still going on that trip, i will be back and ready for adventure soon. i love you guys, (especially you two shroom and indian) and i couldn't imagine a more perfect christmas than with everyone i love sitting around a tree in my apartment, ready for new and luxurious wines

what i really do, if i ever become a famous writer or comedian or something -

sit in my room in my pajamas, dancing to hey ya while envisioning myself as george "ice cold" steel

ever since this 12 year old boy described to me his sexual escapades, preejaculation and deflowering another nubile adolescent, i yearned to drive up the i5 to see what my life could really be about

please let me hold your warm underdeveloped canadian body,
it is what i have dreamed of
during this very long escapade

THEY WILL NEVER KNOW OUR LOVE JAKE, THEY WILL NEVER KNOW

jake -

why the fuck would i drive up i-5 for 19 hours straight just to see a sixteen year old boy who seems to like my writing? i would be ostracized from the whole fucking world

so i bought my plane ticket last night, i leave on the 10th. one way, keep the guitar