GEORGE
do you think i wouldve liked the way i turned out at 20?

GOD
goddamn it man, you were ready to practice abstinence with your dick in your hands. you should be happy you got laid before you were thirty. do you REMEMBER the way you used to look?

GEORGE
hey i liked the happy george shirts okay

GOD
sigh

my heart is telling me to lay off,
take care of yourself

my mind is cloudy and mixed up




the real reason~
stop getting drunk and walking ten miles in the snow just to get to open mics that ultimately end up leading to nothing. i've got a long road ahead of me
hopefully itll be worth it
or at least ill feel a little better

apparently its going to be real harder than i thought to get a spot on the open mic,
gotta call again on saturday or something
ho hum

sleep cures everything

yes i'm attracted to insane girls

thanks dom
i blame you for everythiing wrong in my life again





(this was a joke i should've made about 9 weeks ago. i currently feel amazing
and very thankful

and very very ready to have some weed potatoes

oh god



] ] the mayhem we make!
the laughter we partake in ;


don't worry , im following the always say yes rule when i get back. in fact i already am;;

i completely fell in the snow today, within three steps of getting into the snow.
was i fucking kidding myself or what?


this city's gotten into my core. fuck does it feel good, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

(i wish i could tell you in words] ] ][
you just have to see the icy hell haven yourself!fucking snow queens and muddy jeans (don't splash me car!


. .. y'd u splash me :(

just wanted to clarify;

i love manhattan dandelion. don't forget that

we're silly aren't we;





montreal moves on
while transgressions take a back seat
(the thought of doing something uncomfortable makes my heart pound with excitement.
the comfort of home wasn't cutting it.)

and YOU, stonewall,
i'm going to be harsh! did you not remember what it was like when you first moved yourself! i remember every word! you inappropriate liar! "I CHOOSE TO FORGET EVENTS THAT AFFECT ME, SO WATCH OUT WORLD, NO CONSOLING HERE!" - teresa wood

(i'm just afraid

your skin is getting too tough in that harsh winter cold.

it's silky whenever you're smiling

nobody would even dare to say that to your face besides me)

this is what i think of when i think of ashley in the mornings (and i bounce):

don't be fooled by the rocks that i got
i'm still i'm still jenny from the block
used to have a little now i have a lot
no matter where i go i know where i came from

would you still love me if i had an outtie?


what?


would you still-



i think we should see other people




what, why?? [teach told me not to use ?! strictly comic book. i think it's a stupid rule, to get heated about squiggles and straights, but so goes the life of a writer]



i just can't hibernate in there...




i can't believe you would break up with me for such a stupid reason




it feels like some guy is scrunching their face at me all the time.




you're an asshole




i can't sleep at night!

it's like my fingertips are lighting up in anticipation of what's to come
sparkplugs, man
fireflies waiting for the big fireworks event
i just wanted you along for the ride, madeline
but if you must
have all the banana shortcakes you want. they'll treat you horribly, i'll tell you now. but they'll taste good and you'll taste good and everyone will be having a good time

and then maybe we'll scratch the back of each other's necks,
cough once

and vomit all over the floor shouting, "EXECUTE, EXEMPLIFY, EXCELSIOR!"

FRANCIS
you look fucking happy

SIMON
it's good to be young, baby

FRANCIS
can i have my twelve thousand dollars back?

SIMON
i ate it all

when someone asked if i was just staring into space in awe
and i made something up about thinking of the past
when really those moments are the closest to spiritual nirvana i have
yet to attain

i can feel all the loose ends start coming together
the wind molecules lock hands
and everything starts fizzing around
wAvY right?

you know what it feels like? when it's getting too warm a room and you
swear to god you can see the heat fumes moving around

----------------

also,

FLIRTING, ALCOHOL, DRUGS

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLEGE

(in reference to dandelion and porcupine not being 29 just yet)

pick up your goddamn phone teresa;

i wont be able to call much this week!

(hating everything i've written lately,
don't feel like my core is in tact,
feel more like
an apple

my pen went out the window with you

teresa, are you fucking DEAD?

jean of arc is coming to kill you

personality flaws (not me, yes me);

2 NICE 2 NUZZLE
i never get to do what i want

2 HANDSOME 2 HOLD
everyone is afraid to touch me

2 CUTE 2 CURSE
speak your tongue, please


2 INNOCENT 2 IGLOO
if i want to be iced up alive in a big pop bottle, you gotta get other ice cubs too.

-------------------

;)

this is all i really care about now anyway


"The New"

I wish I could live free
Hope it's not beyond me
Settling down takes time
One day we'll live together
And life will be better
I have it here, yeah, in my mind
Baby, you know someday you'll slow
And baby, my hearts been breaking.

I gave a lot to you
I take a lot from you too
You slave a lot for me
Guess you could say I gave you my edge

But I can't pretend I don't need to defend some part of me from you
I know I've spent some time lying

You're looking all right tonight
I think we should go


edit:
(8:04:18 PM) xyeltsinx: wut is this emo song on ur blog

interpol.

also, it's not about anyone in particular. you just sort of have to listen to it

how i really feel:
sad,
sad as hell


what it'll take:
time

what i wonder:
why do i get involved with people i know don't care about me?

GEORGE
fuck, she calls me a pussy an awful lot.

TILDE~
don't worry about it dude, she's just trying to hurt you the deepest way she knows how. she knows you're worried about it.

GEORGE
i'm seriously thinking i don't want to let anyone in emotionally again. to trust someone with insecurities and to have them exploited over and over, well

TILDE~
not everyone is like her. there are people that love you, you know. even she does in some fucking twisted way. plus, everything she says can't be as bad as your actions.

GEORGE
i did sort of ignore her didn't i?

TILDE~
well, that, and basically leading her on

GEORGE
i didn't mean to.

TILDE~
you really ought to stop explaining yourself.

GEORGE
...

TILDE~
you don't have to say anything. i know it's hard.

GEORGE
i want some tea. i want people who have nothing nice to say to leave me alone.

TILDE~
you don't regret it do you?

GEORGE
no

TILDE~
then live with your actions. it's not nearly as bad as you always make it out to be.
--------------------------------------

i forgot who told me this, but my main problem is that i have so few real problems i take it all out on myself

i'm working on a little scene between me and dom, but i just wanted to point out that we're all a little crazy. we're just busy trying to show we're less crazy than the next guy

already do i feel bad for claiming someone has no soul










to add "fuck off" to one's repertoire takes experience doesn't it? i mean, to truly mean it. i don't think i ever want anyone to fuck off really, i mean if i were friends with them at one point anyway. it's harder when you shared something with someone

what did i share with ashley?
truth

Question:
Are you doing what you want?
Are you actually enjoying yourself in Montreal?











Answer:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

"well why don't you start doing what YOU want for once"

(6:06:04 PM) xogirlyie: hey
(6:06:06 PM) xogirlyie: fuck you
(6:07:13 PM) indiegumby: oh
(6:07:16 PM) indiegumby: what'd i do
(6:07:27 PM) xogirlyie: existed
(6:07:34 PM) indiegumby: okay thanks
(6:07:38 PM) xogirlyie: for starters
(6:07:39 PM) xogirlyie: Hahahaha
(6:08:05 PM) xogirlyie: did you read what i said about your dad by the way
(6:08:06 PM) xogirlyie: LOL
(6:09:31 PM) indiegumby: hm? what are you talking about
(6:09:33 PM) indiegumby: read where
(6:09:39 PM) xogirlyie: oh what i said last night
(6:09:42 PM) indiegumby: huh
(6:09:42 PM) xogirlyie: i'm reading meg your blog
(6:10:04 PM) indiegumby: whatd you say about my dad
(6:11:25 PM) xogirlyie: oh about taking advice on relationships
(6:11:46 PM) indiegumby: oh
(6:12:01 PM) indiegumby: i think you mistook what i meant
(6:12:08 PM) indiegumby: everything my dad says to me
(6:12:11 PM) indiegumby: i dont listen to
(6:12:24 PM) indiegumby: that line is sort of sardonic
(6:13:52 PM) xogirlyie: Teresa loves your cock
(6:14:34 PM) indiegumby: huh
(6:14:37 PM) indiegumby: where did that come from
(6:14:39 PM) indiegumby: lolol
(6:14:57 PM) xogirlyie: no no think about it
(6:14:58 PM) xogirlyie: she does
(6:15:01 PM) indiegumby: i wish you'd stop talking to me about teresa. you don't have anything to do with her
(6:15:28 PM) xogirlyie: oh meg says
(6:15:31 PM) xogirlyie: that in your ode to a girl you loved
(6:15:36 PM) xogirlyie: you had to mention 2 others
(6:15:39 PM) xogirlyie: and that it was stupid
(6:15:45 PM) indiegumby: :/
(6:16:15 PM) indiegumby: sigh
(6:16:20 PM) indiegumby: what do you want from me
(6:16:27 PM) indiegumby: just to make me feel as awful as possible?
(6:17:04 PM) xogirlyie: no you do that to me I'm just responding
(6:17:08 PM) indiegumby: ?
(6:17:20 PM) indiegumby: ashley
(6:20:17 PM) xogirlyie: apparently you used the word swimmingly wrong too
(6:20:24 PM) xogirlyie: and meg's a lit major she would know
(6:20:43 PM) indiegumby: really?
(6:20:45 PM) indiegumby: howd i use it wrong
(6:20:53 PM) indiegumby: id like to fix that
(6:21:50 PM) xogirlyie: ohj and I'm only pretty ENOUGH?
(6:21:53 PM) xogirlyie: I'm prettier than you
(6:22:05 PM) indiegumby: what?
(6:22:08 PM) indiegumby: i have like
(6:22:14 PM) indiegumby: no idea what you're talking about anymore
(6:22:20 PM) indiegumby: honestly.
(6:22:24 PM) xogirlyie: you said I was 'pretty "enough"
(6:22:27 PM) indiegumby: huh
(6:22:29 PM) indiegumby: when did i say that
(6:22:32 PM) indiegumby: i dont remember
(6:22:43 PM) indiegumby: you need to let things go ashley. its goign to kill you
(6:22:53 PM) indiegumby: :(
(6:23:20 PM) indiegumby: i thought you wouldve understood my writing more so than you do
(6:23:24 PM) indiegumby: actually
(6:23:25 PM) indiegumby: i think you do
(6:23:28 PM) indiegumby: you justh ate me more for it
(6:23:39 PM) indiegumby: i dont remember which ode youre talking about exactly
(6:23:45 PM) indiegumby: but
(6:23:51 PM) indiegumby: its sort of obvious im all over the map on love
(6:23:58 PM) indiegumby: thats why i write in a journal to begin with
(6:24:04 PM) indiegumby: to get out everything i dontw ant kept inside of me
(6:25:21 PM) indiegumby: and you know
(6:25:23 PM) indiegumby: everyone
(6:25:28 PM) indiegumby: in my entire life right now...
(6:25:36 PM) indiegumby: says i should just tel you to fuck off. i try to but i can never actually do it
(6:25:51 PM) xogirlyie: Why don't you make up your own ideas for once
(6:25:54 PM) indiegumby: this is detrimental to my health
(6:25:56 PM) indiegumby: well duh
(6:25:59 PM) indiegumby: ifi lisnteed to everyone else
(6:26:01 PM) indiegumby: i wouldve fucking
(6:26:02 PM) indiegumby: stopped talking to you
(6:26:06 PM) indiegumby: ever
(6:26:06 PM) xogirlyie: okay george
(6:26:08 PM) indiegumby: in fact
(6:26:12 PM) indiegumby: i wouldve never started takling to you
(6:26:13 PM) xogirlyie: youre friends are fucking superior geniuses
(6:26:14 PM) indiegumby: in the first place
(6:26:18 PM) indiegumby: god
(6:26:21 PM) xogirlyie: their opinions
(6:26:22 PM) indiegumby: i cant evn stand you
(6:26:25 PM) xogirlyie: are totally fucking valid
(6:26:25 PM) indiegumby: you're telling me
(6:26:28 PM) indiegumby: about my grammatical errors
(6:26:40 PM) indiegumby: and you're the fucking "i can't spell your/you're" right
(6:26:42 PM) indiegumby: type
(6:26:43 PM) indiegumby: god damn
(6:26:47 PM) indiegumby: i need to get away from you



teresa, im so happy you're coming to visit in december. i swear to god. the people we've been associating ourselves with, they have no souls!

the CHILLS
how are you doing today?

me
how dare you ask me that.

the CHILLS
jeez chill out

my throat is on fire
my lungs can't breathe

it's quite a feeling to be emotionally and physically sick all at the same time. i literally feel like i'm dying

my stomach!
~ the sickness ~

On (the journey of dismissing) {all talk no walk},
or,

how i finally learned to make love in 20 seconds or less:

ELLERINA - fifteen, naturally brown but red-dyed hair. cherubic white skin, candy eyes.
SEBASTIAN BACH - seventeen, growing out his dark, terrifically thick hair. has a heavy metal accent.

SEBASTIAN and ELLERINA have just finished climbing a hill infested with bushes, berries, and bears. They are sitting on a tree swing looking out over the city. The wind blows.

ELLERINA
Look at all the lights, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN
I know, baby. It's like you and me out there.

ELLERINA
So many colors, my eyes...

SEBASTIAN puts his arm around ELLERINA and pulls her close. She puts her head in his chest.

SEBASTIAN
Comfy?

ELLERINA
So, so comfy.

SEBASTIAN
You like me?

ELLERINA
Yes.

SEBASTIAN
You're my girl now.

ELLERINA
(amazement) Really?? I...

SEBASTIAN
You're gorgeous Ellerina.

ELLERINA takes SEBASTIAN's hand and puts her palm up to his. She marvels at how small she is in comparison.

ELLERINA
You really like me?

SEBASTIAN
Of course.

ELLERINA
Tell me.

SEBASTIAN
You're so beautiful, you're like...

ELLERINA
Yes, Sebastian?

SEBASTIAN
You're like...

ELLERINA
Yes... Yes, what am I?

SEBASTIAN
You're like the president.

ELLERINA
What?

SEBASTIAN
You know baby, like that one Watergate dude.

ELLERINA
Nixon?

SEBASTIAN
Yeah, my man.

ELLERINA pushes off of him and moves as far away from SEBASTIAN as possible.

ELLERINA
I want to go home.

SEBASTIAN
What, baby? You don't like Watergate?

ELLERINA
I want to go home.

SEBASTIAN
I thought you'd like that.

ELLERINA
Why the fuck would you think that?

SEBASTIAN
I just did.

ELLERINA
You're not even sorry.

SEBASTIAN
For what? Rocking out? (shakes his head glamourously, swashing around his hair)

ELLERINA
UGH, you're an asshole.

ELLERINA gets off the swing and makes her way down the hill. SEBASTIAN calls to her.

SEBASTIAN
Did you still want to come over later?

ELLERINA
(offstage) Fuck you!

------------------------------------------------
Marie Nash - wearing a short brown dress with a flower pinned to it. hair down to her chin with bangs. slender, graceful, kind.
Shaw Marion - a few inches taller than Marie. muscular, bold, and handsome. sort of dim-witted, but a good kisser.

Shaw and Marie are laying on the sidewalk next to her truck downstage. Marie is stroking Shaw's hair, which seems to sprawl over her entire lap. They are both giggling sporadically with constant smiles on their faces.

MARIE
We're going to be such good parents.

SHAW
I want to pack their lunches.

MARIE
I want to comb their hair.

SHAW
You would be so good at that. (kisses her)

MARIE
You're gorgeous.

SHAW
So are you.

MARIE
If you're bad at sex I'm going to kill you (giggles).

SHAW
I'm a champ, baby. (buries his head in her stomach and tries to blow air into her belly button)

MARIE
No, no raspberries... stop.

They continue to gently wrestle around as the scene changes behind them. They start to kiss
as the stage behind them changes from a parking lot to a grassy field. The stars are shining.

MARIE
Let's have some fun.

SHAW
Sure.

They start kissing passionately but stop in the middle.

MARIE
What's wrong?

SHAW
I...

MARIE
You can tell me. Are you nervous? It's okay.

SHAW
No, I don't know. I don't know what's wrong.

MARIE
Shaw, it's fine.

Marie pushes Shaw on his back, gets on top of him, and starts moving her hips. Shaw goes into a dreamlike state, with his eyes half open.

SHAW
What are you...

MARIE
Shh...

SHAW
This is the best consolation prize ever...

Marie goes down to kiss him, but stops before her lips actually get there.

MARIE
You're an angel.

SHAW
My legs are melting.

Suddenly, the set begins to shake and lightning goes off in the distance. SHAW starts to panic out of nowhere and tosses her off of him.

SHAW
Holy fuck, lightning!

MARIE
Shaw, what the fuck?

SHAW
We gotta get outta here!

MARIE
Calm down, it's just a lightning storm. They happen all the time here.

SHAW
No, you don't understand. You don't know how nature works. (starts physically scrambling around for a solution)

MARIE
It's fine!

SHAW starts going into a delusional trance.

SHAW
Get outta my way! (tosses her aside again)

MARIE
Where are you going?

SHAW
To fuck mother nature like she fucked me.

MARIE
Why!

SHAW
Because I'm a rock-star goddamn it! (starts to pace off, but Marie calls to him)

MARIE
Don't you love me?


SHAW stops at this question, turns around and faces her, pauses, and takes a deep breath.

SHAW
You're right Marie, I should calm down, I just -

LOUDSPEAKER
But before little Shaw could finish...


(A lightning bolt strikes Marie and she explodes into ashes.)

SHAW
WHAT THE FUCK!

Shaw immediately starts panicking and tries to run. However, whichever direction he goes, a lightning bolt seems to strike the ground in front of him before he gets anywhere. He starts screaming at the tops of lungs in short, 2-3 second spurts. Finally he reaches Marie's ashes, but instead of grieving at her unexpected misfortune,

SHAW
HERE THEY ARE!

he grabs a set of keys she left behind and runs over to the truck, curses the sky, and drives off.
--------------------------------------------
MARIE NASH
That is so not what happened.

GEORGE
Yeah, but I got the point across that I was still shaky back then.

MARIE
Why did you have to kill me?

GEORGE
It had to have a punchline.

MARIE
Why couldn't it just have been sweet?

GEORGE
(stern) That's not how it happened.

Marie giggles.

MARIE
So defensive.

Marie kisses him on the cheek.

GEORGE
Shutup.
---------------------------------------------

SHIRLEY and ACE are fooling around underneath some blankets on a big bed center stage. Their voices are audible, but they can't be seen.

SHIRLEY
Ace, you're amazing...

ACE grunts.

SHIRLEY
What are you doing to me...

ACE giggles.

SHIRLEY
You fuck me like a lion!

ACE roars.

SHIRLEY
Now go faster...

ACE whimpers.

SHIRLEY
Faster, Ace.

ACE is quiet.

SHIRLEY
Faster...

ACE can be heard grunting and putting everything he has into it.

SHIRLEY
Don't stop... don't stop...

They stop moving around under the blankets.

SHIRLEY
You stopped!

ACE
I, uh...

SHIRLEY pushes him off of her and gives him her back.

ACE
Shirley, no, I can keep going, just give me like five minutes.

SHIRLEY doesn't say anything.

ACE
Baby,

ACE puts his hand on her shoulder.
SHIRLEY bites a finger.

ACE
Fuck, will you at least say something?

SHIRLEY
Just go to bed.

ACE
I...

Ace sighs.

ACE
Damn it.

ACE takes one last look, turns around, and tries to sleep. (He doesn't that night, just to let you know)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

How to Give a Sensual Massage
by Cheeps Eatson

I look at massages as a way to express yourself intimately with someone, without it having to be just about sex. You can use your hands as great foreplay to touch all the spots she didn't know could feel so good. Here are some basic tips that I like to adhere to when giving a massage:

- Don't start out too rough, but don't be gentle either. The best part about getting a massage is how sometimes it hurts so bad it's good. But don't think your partner made out of hamsteak or something. They're as fragile as anyone else. Treat them with love and run your fingers softly and slowly down each part of them, getting a feel as to what feels good and what doesn't.

- Don't ignore any one spot, and don't do the same thing over and over. We're excited by what's uncertain. I like to pretend I'm writing out the alphabet on them in terms of where you're moving your hands, keeping it fresh and fun but still being in control.

- Scratching and biting can be wonderful if done right. You know how good it feels when you scratch your back when it itches? That's what I'm talking about. Synergizing that with passionate touching every so often (don't scratch too hard, unless they want you to. scratch just enough to add that extra sensation that puts you over the top) adds to the excitement and heightens senses to new levels.

- Knuckles can be your best friend. Run your knuckles, maybe two at a time with each hand, down your partners spine slowly, a few times in repetition, but adding pressure after each time. This one you sort of have to do on your own, but trust me, it feels amazing and it's nice to do.

- Don't be afraid to complement them verbally to go along with the physical. Everyone likes to hear how much you love them when you're being intimate (which is different than obsessing sporadically), so don't be afraid to whisper those sweet nothings into their ear every so often.

Those are all the tips I can really give out so far without women trying to jump on me for more. "Change our husbands, Cheeps Eatson," "I want to marry you, Cheeps Eatson," "Where is my alimony, Cheeps Eatson," it's all too much sometimes. So with that , I wish you adieu and good luck on your many massagical adventures!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
DAVE PETERS
Man that Cheeps Eatson guy gets all the ladies. He's always on TV and everything.

GEORGE
Ugh, I hate that guy.

DAVE
Hey just because he got famous and you didn't.

GEORGE
He's an idiot.

DAVE
He's a genius. I know you guys were friends way back when but

GEORGE
I wrote that goddamn thing on massages. In fact, I write everything he fucking publishes! He's a thief!

DAVE
Wait, you wrote all those things?

GEORGE
Yeah!

DAVE
How come you don't have any women, then? How come you're not on TV?

GEORGE
Apparently it's legal to take someone's work and give the credit to someone more handsome.

(Pause)

DAVE
God, America.

GEORGE sighs.

GEORGE
Yeah.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
IT IS MORNINGTIME.

Porcupine and Dandelion are in bed and the sun is shining in through the windows. Porcupine stretches, yawns, and lays back down. Dandelion is woken up by something.

DANDELION
Please tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing.

PORCUPINE
What?

DANDELION
Why are you stabbing me with your penis?

PORCUPINE
No dice?

DANDELION moves over a bit, out of his reach

PORCUPINE
It's fucking natural, I can't control it!

DANDELION
Put fucking stabson away already.

PORCUPINE
What about last night, everything we did, it was amazing...

DANDELION
PORCUPINE, I'm TRYING to SLEEP here.

PORCUPINE
Goddamn it.

(Long pause)

DANDELION
PORCUPINE!

PORCUPINE
What?
---------------------------------------------------------------
(FLUFFY HAIRED) ELF and CRO MAGNUM are at a kitchen table. ELF is eating a sandwich while CRO MAGNUM is trying to make a card house. There is a trash can right next to them.

CRO MAGNUM
You know what I usually do for mayonnaise?

(FLUFFY HAIRED) ELF
Please don't tell me.

CRO MAGNUM
Well you see, I go to the 33 cent store on Market 'cause they got cheap groceries over there that supermarkets usually just throw away.

ELF
You used that mayonnaise on my panini didn't you?

CRO MAGNUM
Oh, no that isn't mayonnaise.

ELF
Thank god.

CRO MAGNUM
That's bear's milk.

ELF's eyes open up wide and he starts to puke in the trash.

CRO MAGNUM
God, you don't like bear's milk? It's so good.

ELF
Fuck you!

CRO MAGNUM
At least let me have a bite of that.

i know i know i know,
i'm not french

; ;;
despite enjoying it thoroughly and having nowhere else to go, i dread going to class tonight only due to the fact that i have to do it. it doesn't matter if im getting a goddamn million dollars i'd still hate going if i felt pressured to;

-------
characters:
Holly Hutchinson- same old deal, raggedy dishwasher blonde hair, maybe some smeared makeup on her face, i dont know i'm not feeling that affectionate towards anyone lately. she's a sex pot, but a gentle one.

Eric Wood- bisexual; fashion connoisseur, absolutely full of himself. enjoys staring into hollys face like a goddamn zombie while whacking off. she told me this the other day. i laughed.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
what are you doing? you're creeping me out a little

ERIC WOOD
*continues shining shoes* i'm pretty aren't i? you don't need to tell me i'm pretty, i know already. your shoes are filthy.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
i wish you'd come over and have sex with me already

ERIC WOOD
have you met tom yet? he's the one i wanted to have a threesome with.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
i don't know, was he the one with the mustache?

ERIC WOOD
no, he was wearing the glittery pink sweatervest

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
oh, GOD

ERIC WOOD
well i think he's cute. if you lived in japan you'd think he were cute too

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
who the fuck ARE you? where do you think you're from, huh? japan? you're full of shit.

ERIC WOOD
well whatever. i don't have to shine your shoes, you can shine them yourself.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
PLEASE GOD NO (falls off the bed in pseudo despair, and rolls around on the floor maniacally.)

ERIC WOOD
oh get up already, you're going to stain that shirt

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
will you please SHUT UP and FUCK me already?
=----------------------------
characters:
ASURA [i'll explain myself once, because i feel like this needs actual explanation. over the summer i met this girl ashley who was very into asian culture for some reason and if you asked someone in my life, apparently we fell in love. this broke my number one rule in hooking up that i always, always, ALWAYS yelled at dom for, finding someone on OKCUPID. she found me, actually, but that's beside the point. she was pretty enough, we galavanted around santa cruz for a while eating strawberries, and i basically told teresa to fuck the hell off. i felt awful about this, and still feel like it dramatically changed my life. she's still in love with me, you know. i don't know how i feel except i really want to stay in montreal for the cold. i've never even built a goddamn snowman before. oh, and decorating my christmas tree with family cote des neiges.

in all honesty:
i will probably never find someone like ashley again. she unleashed a goddamn epic primal beast in me. ask anyone. i fell off the face of the earth she made me feel so good. i never even said goodbye to dasha! but i said goodbye to blaise three times. what do you think goes into me choosing to introduce certain people or not? a lotta bullshit, i'd say]

ASURA
we're such sex pots

GEORGE
i can't believe i named you Asura... that was silly of me. and SEYMOUR? who was i trying to kid? i'm no seymour.

ASURA
what are you talking about?

GEORGE
oh, nothing.
what do you think of seymour?

ASURA
he's an asshole! he knows how much i love him but he never calls me back! he thinks he's having so much fucking fun in stupid uruguay, when im here crying my eyes out! why won't he come visit me?

GEORGE
he doesn't have the money, really. but his real excuse is that he spent like five hundred dollars buying clothes and decorating his room. cut him some slack, he's visiting you for christmas

ASURA
ITS NOT ENOUGH

GEORGE
there's nothing anyone can do about it, and i think you should stop blaming him for it. or at least HE feels that way

ASURA
so what? i feel terrible! it's all his fault.

GEORGE
um, how is it his fault?

ASURA
IF HE REALLY LOVED ME HE WOULD DROP OUT OF SCHOOL, NOT CARE ABOUT WASTING TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS COMING HERE BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!
(note: i did feel very very comfortable and happy in her apartment. i just feel like she's offering me [AH SHIT I MEAN SEYMOUR] these ultimatums in whether or not i come. and if i don't, she tells me she'll probably fall out of love with me and die and go kill my family before she dies and so on)

GEORGE
i don't know what to say! i'm the goddamn author and i already feel like seymour! im not seymour! i'm just the logical mind who has constantly constantly been perplexed by your logic ever since day one! it makes sense but it's so goddaaaaamn crazy

ASURA
YOU THINK YOU KNOW CRAZY? YOU DON'T KNOW CRAZY, I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT'S FUCKING CRAZY
--------------------------
On one hand, I look at my life and I look at Dom's, and he seems pretty happy. I finally understood what he meant when he said, "on paper, Maureen is the perfect girl. In a perfect world we could live together and be happy". The only actual friends Ashley clashed with was Tauscher actually, and I think it was because neither of them really enjoy dealing with another person's bullshit. I myself hate it but don't really voice it in that way. I hate confrontation, while she's all about it. I think of my father and his first wife and whatever may have happened there. {P.s. thanks for the advice dad, it's really helping me swimmingly. i won't fail my south asian lit class in return}
--------------------------

the truth:

the setting:
i took mushrooms in the woods

the prologue:
i took mushrooms in the woods but was scared out of my mind.

the characters:
elf princess - androgynous qualities
wandering nymph - androgynous qualities

WANDERING NYMPH has his arm around ELF PRINCESS's shoulder. She is holding him tight to her, yelling out when cars passed them by.

NYMPH
hiya pretty... you're SO pretty...

PRINCESS
thanks... watch out for the side of the road okay?

NYMPH
okay elf princess! you're like.. an elf princess oh my god. you are so cute

PRINCESS
um, what?

NYMPH
i'm sooo sorry! am i creeping you out? am i being creepy? tell me im not. are we going to fall off the road i'm really worried

PRINCESS
no, we're not going to fall off the road

NYMPH
am i being weird?

PRINCESS
a little... it's okay. you're on drugs. i understand. i still love you *smiles and kisses him*

NYMPH
aww, i'm so happy.

PRINCESS
good

NYMPH
where are we going?

PRINCESS
home

NYMPH
what are we doing there?

PRINCESS
well, i think i'm going to cuddle with you on the couch, and get lots of lots of blankets and pillows so we don't have to go anywhere.

NYMPH
that's like, the best fucking thing i could ever hear

PRINCESS
don't leave me

NYMPH
i don't live my life that way.
it's the craziest formula. talk big and run away from everything as fast as you can, hopefully to be eventually blindsided by something worth living for

PRINCESS
think about me

NYMPH
it'll be hard. you don't understand yet

PRINCESS
yes i do.


(she didn't)
--------------
the end result:

This morning I was in poetry and there were these girls who seemed out of my league pretty much, but I decided to try to talk to them anyway. One of them seemed charmed, one of them seemed disgusted.

The charmed one was so small and soft, a reminder of SOMEONE clinging on to my body when i was sick sick sick as a dog and not wanting to deal with anything but human skin

the disgusted one looked at my shoes and kept shaking her head.

i associate the both of them with nothing in montreal. they were the way out to spiritual enlightenment, to personal nirvana. but they were nothing really, here. what am i getting at, what am i getting at ;

my motivation in life is skewed;
life itself is tactless with its own set of aspirations and obstacles, yet despite any one problem that may be troubling us, love seems to trump EVERYTHING. no matter what i seem to focus on, no matter how important it seems to me, writing a novel, acting in a goddamn play, if that pretty little number comes walking by i'll throw it all out the window and jump in swan lake,
blurry passionate days filled with liquor and macaroni and moldy japanese ice cream

===============================

here's something i'm going to end with, that i'll post here instead of actually telling my roomate about it (or anyone here for that matter. i told teresa, and she laughed, and we both laughed that i would actually remember something like this [and still remember, to this date]) [I HAVE TO GET THIS STORY OUT RIGHT NOW]

the reason im telling this story is because i really think a lot of people here have the wrong impression about me. i have no one to blame but myself, but it's okay since things in my life seem to be taking some form

tauscher's girl, claire, had come over and i didn't even know her and i was whacked out of my mind on ketamine. i was looking around the room while everyone else was talking and suddenly i thought she had waved at me and i didn't know what to do. i was analyzing all the possible situations in my head during these nanoseconds, and i decided i would just wave back and see where that went.

CLAIRE
did you just wave at me?

GEORGE
um, yeah i guess ha ha ha ha ha (starts waving his hands all over the goddamn place)

CLAIRE
oh

(everyone looks around awkwardly)
---------------------------
TERESA
why didn't you just tell her what happeend?

GEORGE
do you think i knew what i was doing? i was just embarrassed as hell

TERESA
well that's fair.

by the way, i told my family about our physicality and all.

GEORGE
jesus christ

TERESA
well, i just wanted to let you know

GEORGE
why do you like saying it out loud all the time

-------------------------
ASHLEY
i can't believe you still write about teresa, don't you ever think about me?

GEORGE
mhm

ASHLEY
you never respond anymore

GEORGE
i know

ASHLEY
will you actually say something

GEORGE
i have to go

ASHLEY
well FUCK YOU then!

GEORGE
you always tell me not to tell you how to feel. don't tell me how to feel okay? it's only fair. i care about you, but the more you tell me to fuck off, the less i feel about you

ASHLEY
*mumbled southern california jargon* ITS ONLY BECAUSE I LOOOVE YOU
-----------------------

the fairest thing asura has ever said

SEYMOUR
will you stop being so, i don't know, CRAZY with your emotions? will you stop yelling at me and giving me ultimatums, PLEASE?

ASURA
that's like telling you to stop lying and doing drugs

SEYMOUR
ugh
fine
---------------------------

DASHA
hi

GEORGE
hi.

DASHA
im really really upset

GEORGE
god, me too sometimes

CRO MAGNUM
have you read this book? it's called 2012.

(FLUFFY HAIRED) ELF
hold on a second, these paninis are almost done.

CRO MAGNUM
paninis are a fabrication of society to make you hate sandwiches.

ELF
well fucking nutella and jam inbetween two grilled carbcakes is delicious so i dont care what you say.

CRO MAGNUM
that's what they want you to think man.

ELF
jesus, why the fuck do you and everyone that looks like you get all the women (i want to date)?

CRO MAGNUM
there's no substitute for jaw structure
-----------------------

in the natural order of things, it is the most outgoing personality that is rewarded. outgoing does not necessarily entail loud incomprehensible noise, but rather, an aggressiveness that one can most similarly identify with passion.

whether this passion spiritually warms you(r delicate figure; your silhouette) like the core of a muffin, is unknowable at this point. you just have to figure out how many knuckles to run down the spine of a princess

(my estimate has been two. only because she once did it to me -

---------------------
i must write a play about my former love.
i think ill call it, sixth business
-----------------

and i wanted you to know crystal, despite my coked out rants and disintegration, you're probably my favorite person on the internet. let me tell you why.