“WHAT DO YOU WANT” - (2 minute play by George Ha)

Characters
Jody - in his early twenties, fumbling around with a melon
Peter - Jody’s roommate

Setting:
Inside their apartment. Jody is hollowing out a melon in the kitchen while Peter is sitting on the couch sorting some mail.

PETER
Delivery menus, phone bill, letter from the Dean of students, phone bill, JUGGIN around magazine, phone bill, more delivery menus…

JODY
New issue of Juggins is in? Awesome, keep it on the table.

PETER
You’re obsessed with pornography, man.

JODY
I’ve acquired a taste for it.

PETER
Don’t you know actual girls hate this shit?

JODY
They do not. Women just tell you that to make themselves seem more innocent.

PETER
They claim the opposite.

JODY
How many times has your girlfriend told you she wasn’t mad when she was?

PETER
A few, I guess.

JODY
Yeah, a few hundred. Women are always telling you the opposite of what’s true, they just want you to know what they’re thinking and act accordingly. And
(JODY, cont’d)
they’re thinking, “Hey pornography is a-okay.” It’s just how you say it. I’m just trying to figure out what I
like in a woman. Experience is everything.
(Jody scoops out a chunk of melon and puts the remainder on a plate and sticks in the microwave)


PETER
Looking at a titty magazine and realizing you like tits doesn’t make you a fucking genius.

JODY
It’s not about the tits. Think about it for a minute. If you’re with a girl that likes you, I mean really adores the hell outta you, there’s nothing more perfect than saying how much you know and love her body. Everything. Elbows and eyes and kneecaps and legs and toes and fingers and hair and noses and cheekbones and those rectangular eyebrows that Liz definitely has, foreheads and belly buttons and heels and thigh sweat, dirt underneath her fingernails, smiles, that’s an important one, lips and teeth and tongue even, the tiny wrinkles around her wrist, the way her cavaties keep coming back, how she likes it when you scratch her shoulder, how you like it when she scratches yours until it bleeds, how it doesn’t matter that she’s on her period, that it doesn’t gross you out at all, how you crave her anyway, how her voice is like a siren’s that can make you tremble any time, how every goddamn day you wake up and look at her curves and just want to be with her all the fucking time, if you mean it, if you‘re not being corny at all and you really mean it, and she still doesn’t love the hell outta you, I don’t know what love is.




PETER
How in the fuck did you know we had sex on her period?

JODY
It grossed her out, huh?

PETER
A little. A lot. We had to stop.


JODY
When you’re in love man, it doesn’t even matter. But you have to know what you like to really mean what you say. It’s all lies otherwise.

(Jody takes the melon out of the microwave, and puts it to the side.)

Throw me the magazine.

(Peter throws it over to him)

PETER
Did you hollow out that melon and heat it up just so you could masturbate with it?

JODY
No.
(Pause. Peter continues to look at him.)
I can’t help who I’m attracted to!

Curtain.