list of things to do before i go to canada:

get my goddamn passport for one - it has been like a month now and still my country won't let me outta here. and they won't even let me drink! i feel like i should write some 17th century garbage about how i have forsaken my country and how my country ahs forsaken me or something and have people read it in three hundred years thinking i was a big shot politician with a lot of say. anyway,

work out a bit more - i want to be toned and naked while dueling for reese's heart

buy a shield/armor/grappling hooks - speaking of dueling, it's legitimate. lions and swords and all of that for her love. and you know, if we actually did it, she would probably fawn over the winner (me) forever.

do a few more open mics - comedy sucks. my style is too improvisational for anything set in stone. i've recognized that and maybe i should just write a cartoon or a screenplay or something. speaking of which, i bought rosencrantz and gildenstern are dead and i should probably read that today

buy lots of snacks

punch dasha in the face and finally be happy that she's happy

make sure dom is okay before i go because it might be a long trip

save up them fucking cashbucks because I FEEL RIDICULOUS NEVER HAVING MONEY TO GO UP THERE

edit:
oh, and stop that goddamn coke habit of mine.