i was told yesterday that the number one reason girls don't smoke pot is because they're afraid that they're going to gain weight

this further reinforces my philosophy that the illogicality of women should be put in a box and shipped to pluto (where things tend to disappear)




english professors, i've also noticed,
always try to start up a conversation
but then leave me with the most awkward taste in my mouth

... it tastes like sour candy