2:15pm yesterday

mom:
george, your father had a stroke you have to come to the hospital right away!

i got there and while he was getting his head x-rayed (i hadn't slept the night before either), i just stared ahead of me and started crying. i don't know what exactly i was crying for, and my mom just sort of looked at me and asked what was wrong, and i was thinking about how me and my parents have never really known each other fully, and how my father is stuck to days long gone, and how if he were to die today, he would die
unhappy. and i said that, and she said, well, you're here, and that's the best thing you can do.

i can't end up the way they are, so sad and lonely and defeated by life and all the things that make them happy are so material
(though,

me and my sister have a chance to become great people, for we have great BLOOD!)





(i don't actually mean that.
completely, anyway - = + - & ^ % $ @ !