wayne would have the silliest stories and ideas about life, and he would just ramble on about them all the time. like for instance one time we were just sitting around in the apartment watching this movie franz had made, and out of nowhere wayne just blurted out, "ALL THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS IN THE PENAL COLONY ARE GOING TO BE ABSORBED BY ROBOTS AND YOU KNOW WHAT? ONE DAY THEY'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" and both me and franz just sort of stared at him cock-eyed for a little bit and franz got a little upset and said "das isn't vat the movie is about, herr WAYNE!" and after that wayne just slumped in his chair a little bit moping. he really gets excited when he starts talking about his crazy fantasies and whenever one of us brings him down like that he really becomes a mopester.

i mean there was one time when jack was living with us and we were all playing football and both jack and wayne are really buff guys and jack just tackled the shit out of him this one play and the next day wayne was just crying the entire day saying something about how him and the fearless freaks were gonna "kick that idiot kerouac's face in" the next time they played. i remember jack tried to console him and all wayne did was push him in the face with his palm and yell, "ON THE ROAD WOULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER WITH ROBOTS! I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT ROBOTS EXIST, WHY DIDN'T YOU FEEL LIKE PUTTING THEM IN YOUR STUPID LITTLE STORY? NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU ANYWAY, IF THEY KNEW THEY REAL YOU, NOBODY WOULD EVEN LIKE YOU JACK!"

and with that, jack kerouac was out of our lives forever. franz really misses him sometimes because he made the BEST absinthe, and we had the craziest parties whenever he was around, but i guess it was all in best interest for wayne. and he was right you know. on the road would have been so much cooler with robots.
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(continue'd later, with different people, with different jokes, with different side effects)