our goodbye took a couple of days. today was sort of strange; i was in a weird mood. but last night as i took her hand in mine and listened to the most beautiful jazz i had ever heard, sipping wine and eating pasta from the very front row, listening to music that seemed to be just for us (the rest of the crowd was noisy but into it, the red curtains and sincere faces made me feel like the rest of the world had no idea), i realized that i was very happy, and though i will miss winnipeg and montreal and all that they did for me,
i am ready to pass on the grace and charm of a nation to all that are willing to take it.
i am ready to love and be loved, for the first time in my life i felt that someone not only wanted to be loved (and to have FUN) but wanted to love me in return. she bought me these slippers that look like big sneakers (think DOUG, young brethren) and said i looked at her as if no one had paid for anything in my life.
i'm welcoming now,
no longer distant
and though i was a bit annoyed at the airport for giving me endless worries (i lit up a cigarette, but those won't be very often anymore [huffing and puffing made me laugh but feel less masculine in bed]) i think that home will shine brighter than ever before.


is everyone ready to laugh??