; ;;
despite enjoying it thoroughly and having nowhere else to go, i dread going to class tonight only due to the fact that i have to do it. it doesn't matter if im getting a goddamn million dollars i'd still hate going if i felt pressured to;

-------
characters:
Holly Hutchinson- same old deal, raggedy dishwasher blonde hair, maybe some smeared makeup on her face, i dont know i'm not feeling that affectionate towards anyone lately. she's a sex pot, but a gentle one.

Eric Wood- bisexual; fashion connoisseur, absolutely full of himself. enjoys staring into hollys face like a goddamn zombie while whacking off. she told me this the other day. i laughed.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
what are you doing? you're creeping me out a little

ERIC WOOD
*continues shining shoes* i'm pretty aren't i? you don't need to tell me i'm pretty, i know already. your shoes are filthy.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
i wish you'd come over and have sex with me already

ERIC WOOD
have you met tom yet? he's the one i wanted to have a threesome with.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
i don't know, was he the one with the mustache?

ERIC WOOD
no, he was wearing the glittery pink sweatervest

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
oh, GOD

ERIC WOOD
well i think he's cute. if you lived in japan you'd think he were cute too

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
who the fuck ARE you? where do you think you're from, huh? japan? you're full of shit.

ERIC WOOD
well whatever. i don't have to shine your shoes, you can shine them yourself.

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
PLEASE GOD NO (falls off the bed in pseudo despair, and rolls around on the floor maniacally.)

ERIC WOOD
oh get up already, you're going to stain that shirt

HOLLY HUTCHINSON
will you please SHUT UP and FUCK me already?
=----------------------------
characters:
ASURA [i'll explain myself once, because i feel like this needs actual explanation. over the summer i met this girl ashley who was very into asian culture for some reason and if you asked someone in my life, apparently we fell in love. this broke my number one rule in hooking up that i always, always, ALWAYS yelled at dom for, finding someone on OKCUPID. she found me, actually, but that's beside the point. she was pretty enough, we galavanted around santa cruz for a while eating strawberries, and i basically told teresa to fuck the hell off. i felt awful about this, and still feel like it dramatically changed my life. she's still in love with me, you know. i don't know how i feel except i really want to stay in montreal for the cold. i've never even built a goddamn snowman before. oh, and decorating my christmas tree with family cote des neiges.

in all honesty:
i will probably never find someone like ashley again. she unleashed a goddamn epic primal beast in me. ask anyone. i fell off the face of the earth she made me feel so good. i never even said goodbye to dasha! but i said goodbye to blaise three times. what do you think goes into me choosing to introduce certain people or not? a lotta bullshit, i'd say]

ASURA
we're such sex pots

GEORGE
i can't believe i named you Asura... that was silly of me. and SEYMOUR? who was i trying to kid? i'm no seymour.

ASURA
what are you talking about?

GEORGE
oh, nothing.
what do you think of seymour?

ASURA
he's an asshole! he knows how much i love him but he never calls me back! he thinks he's having so much fucking fun in stupid uruguay, when im here crying my eyes out! why won't he come visit me?

GEORGE
he doesn't have the money, really. but his real excuse is that he spent like five hundred dollars buying clothes and decorating his room. cut him some slack, he's visiting you for christmas

ASURA
ITS NOT ENOUGH

GEORGE
there's nothing anyone can do about it, and i think you should stop blaming him for it. or at least HE feels that way

ASURA
so what? i feel terrible! it's all his fault.

GEORGE
um, how is it his fault?

ASURA
IF HE REALLY LOVED ME HE WOULD DROP OUT OF SCHOOL, NOT CARE ABOUT WASTING TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS COMING HERE BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!
(note: i did feel very very comfortable and happy in her apartment. i just feel like she's offering me [AH SHIT I MEAN SEYMOUR] these ultimatums in whether or not i come. and if i don't, she tells me she'll probably fall out of love with me and die and go kill my family before she dies and so on)

GEORGE
i don't know what to say! i'm the goddamn author and i already feel like seymour! im not seymour! i'm just the logical mind who has constantly constantly been perplexed by your logic ever since day one! it makes sense but it's so goddaaaaamn crazy

ASURA
YOU THINK YOU KNOW CRAZY? YOU DON'T KNOW CRAZY, I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT'S FUCKING CRAZY
--------------------------
On one hand, I look at my life and I look at Dom's, and he seems pretty happy. I finally understood what he meant when he said, "on paper, Maureen is the perfect girl. In a perfect world we could live together and be happy". The only actual friends Ashley clashed with was Tauscher actually, and I think it was because neither of them really enjoy dealing with another person's bullshit. I myself hate it but don't really voice it in that way. I hate confrontation, while she's all about it. I think of my father and his first wife and whatever may have happened there. {P.s. thanks for the advice dad, it's really helping me swimmingly. i won't fail my south asian lit class in return}
--------------------------

the truth:

the setting:
i took mushrooms in the woods

the prologue:
i took mushrooms in the woods but was scared out of my mind.

the characters:
elf princess - androgynous qualities
wandering nymph - androgynous qualities

WANDERING NYMPH has his arm around ELF PRINCESS's shoulder. She is holding him tight to her, yelling out when cars passed them by.

NYMPH
hiya pretty... you're SO pretty...

PRINCESS
thanks... watch out for the side of the road okay?

NYMPH
okay elf princess! you're like.. an elf princess oh my god. you are so cute

PRINCESS
um, what?

NYMPH
i'm sooo sorry! am i creeping you out? am i being creepy? tell me im not. are we going to fall off the road i'm really worried

PRINCESS
no, we're not going to fall off the road

NYMPH
am i being weird?

PRINCESS
a little... it's okay. you're on drugs. i understand. i still love you *smiles and kisses him*

NYMPH
aww, i'm so happy.

PRINCESS
good

NYMPH
where are we going?

PRINCESS
home

NYMPH
what are we doing there?

PRINCESS
well, i think i'm going to cuddle with you on the couch, and get lots of lots of blankets and pillows so we don't have to go anywhere.

NYMPH
that's like, the best fucking thing i could ever hear

PRINCESS
don't leave me

NYMPH
i don't live my life that way.
it's the craziest formula. talk big and run away from everything as fast as you can, hopefully to be eventually blindsided by something worth living for

PRINCESS
think about me

NYMPH
it'll be hard. you don't understand yet

PRINCESS
yes i do.


(she didn't)
--------------
the end result:

This morning I was in poetry and there were these girls who seemed out of my league pretty much, but I decided to try to talk to them anyway. One of them seemed charmed, one of them seemed disgusted.

The charmed one was so small and soft, a reminder of SOMEONE clinging on to my body when i was sick sick sick as a dog and not wanting to deal with anything but human skin

the disgusted one looked at my shoes and kept shaking her head.

i associate the both of them with nothing in montreal. they were the way out to spiritual enlightenment, to personal nirvana. but they were nothing really, here. what am i getting at, what am i getting at ;

my motivation in life is skewed;
life itself is tactless with its own set of aspirations and obstacles, yet despite any one problem that may be troubling us, love seems to trump EVERYTHING. no matter what i seem to focus on, no matter how important it seems to me, writing a novel, acting in a goddamn play, if that pretty little number comes walking by i'll throw it all out the window and jump in swan lake,
blurry passionate days filled with liquor and macaroni and moldy japanese ice cream

===============================

here's something i'm going to end with, that i'll post here instead of actually telling my roomate about it (or anyone here for that matter. i told teresa, and she laughed, and we both laughed that i would actually remember something like this [and still remember, to this date]) [I HAVE TO GET THIS STORY OUT RIGHT NOW]

the reason im telling this story is because i really think a lot of people here have the wrong impression about me. i have no one to blame but myself, but it's okay since things in my life seem to be taking some form

tauscher's girl, claire, had come over and i didn't even know her and i was whacked out of my mind on ketamine. i was looking around the room while everyone else was talking and suddenly i thought she had waved at me and i didn't know what to do. i was analyzing all the possible situations in my head during these nanoseconds, and i decided i would just wave back and see where that went.

CLAIRE
did you just wave at me?

GEORGE
um, yeah i guess ha ha ha ha ha (starts waving his hands all over the goddamn place)

CLAIRE
oh

(everyone looks around awkwardly)
---------------------------
TERESA
why didn't you just tell her what happeend?

GEORGE
do you think i knew what i was doing? i was just embarrassed as hell

TERESA
well that's fair.

by the way, i told my family about our physicality and all.

GEORGE
jesus christ

TERESA
well, i just wanted to let you know

GEORGE
why do you like saying it out loud all the time

-------------------------
ASHLEY
i can't believe you still write about teresa, don't you ever think about me?

GEORGE
mhm

ASHLEY
you never respond anymore

GEORGE
i know

ASHLEY
will you actually say something

GEORGE
i have to go

ASHLEY
well FUCK YOU then!

GEORGE
you always tell me not to tell you how to feel. don't tell me how to feel okay? it's only fair. i care about you, but the more you tell me to fuck off, the less i feel about you

ASHLEY
*mumbled southern california jargon* ITS ONLY BECAUSE I LOOOVE YOU
-----------------------

the fairest thing asura has ever said

SEYMOUR
will you stop being so, i don't know, CRAZY with your emotions? will you stop yelling at me and giving me ultimatums, PLEASE?

ASURA
that's like telling you to stop lying and doing drugs

SEYMOUR
ugh
fine
---------------------------

DASHA
hi

GEORGE
hi.

DASHA
im really really upset

GEORGE
god, me too sometimes