I also want to be interested in beautiful scintillating girls, but I'm not. I feel like I should be falling in love because she has already fallen in love. I miss her, I miss her companionship most of all. It feels like I've lost my girlfriend and my best friend and who knows what I'm supposed to do about that. My life is confusing and I don't know where it is leading me.

Ellery wants me to do stand-up and maybe I'll write something by Tuesday and wow some people. I need the attention.