i really have to tell you guys this exciting story that JUST happened to me. so there was this alien named bob right around the corner from my house and we talked and this is what went down:

me: "oh my god, you're an alien!!"
him: "oh... hey. yeah, name's bob. um, listen. do you know where i can like, get some sort of body or something? i was sorta sent here to get one and, hey, do you want to come along? it'll be fun, we have a phonograph. i know how much you humans like to dance so..."



and hours passed by. we danced and danced on his spaceship until he discovered this ridiculous fact:

bob: "so what you're saying is, these human men like to tear up their own muscles with big heavy things just so the muscles can regrow stronger?"
me: "yeah"
bob: "WHAT? you serious?"
me: "yeah"
bob: "christ, that's stupid"
me: "what're you gonna do."