like the way she picks up her phone and it's me, she automatically assumes the attitude of "goddamn it when when will this GUY keep bothering me?"

i don't even know why i want to go see her tomorrow. any other sane person in the world would have dumped her in a trash can by now. can you believe while we were hanging out one day someone mistook me for her boyfriend and she disgustedly looked at me and said "um, he's SO not my boyfriend".

what kind of friend does that? jesus christ. and what kind of friend complains about it on his PUBLIC BLOGGER how pathetic!
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okay, i don't really think these things, and these things are obviously exaggerated. i'm just bored and lonely at 4pm already and god i wish this headache would go away. i want to go see teresa but i can't really bring myself to save up the money. i actually don't even care about all that anymore, it's a broken and lost dream of mine. nobody seems to believe in it except me. i really do want to move out, but what then after that? if i got an apartment, i'd be TRAPPED here and though i would get the occasional visitations, most of my time will still be spent wondering "what the fucking hell is going on"