ready to throw away the cards, pictures, numbers of yesterday

wanted to get drunk
didn't


and you know

i think i'm ready to take the plunge into hard drugs. lots of cocaine and heroin and speed could fill up my system, acid
poorly structured molecules setting the sun
false sentiment

ill talk to teresa and then just hate her for a mile
and then my vision will get blurry


so tomorrow is the day i go get all my stuff back and once i visit the pawn shop, who knows where i will go

but i know for one thing i'm sick of having people say you've been saying this over and over again, so as soon as i sell every goddamn thing i own here i am buying a plane ticket straight to somewhere no one's gonna find me. so fuck all of you (sorry courtney for not spending more time with you, i couldn't in my current state) and fuck all of me i'm ready to spring

and the 5:30 pitch black nights are not convincing me to stay at all

same with my best friend looking miserable, my other best friend who has no schedule for me, my third best friend who i keep saying i'll call but never do, my fourth best who seems to be as sick of as this place as i am, my next best friends being little guys who i will miss dearly but as long as they have a new father to take care of them i won't be sorely missed

"leaving takes more bravery"
than what
staying

brave brave