My favourite story:

Despite anything men say in front of women convincing them that their brains are just as capable as ours, we are naturally disposed to think they are as dumb as jelly beans.

For instance, several times in my life have I argued in favor of women, that men really are not that great or handsome or powerful, that they are not artistic stallions that oscillate between extreme attractiveness and confident safety, that women are not attracted to the sublime power of men.

But for fuck's sake is that a lie.

At the same time, however, I believe women think the same thing about men, which I will go into as follows:

GIRL 1
oh my GOD can you believe the way jamie kisses it's so awful
GIRL 2
i know! jamei is such a terrible kisser, we're both pretty good
GIRL 1
i know i've gotten pretty good at just laying there
GIRL 2
REALLY i wish i knew how to fuck better. i sort of move my toes around and complain when he's doing something wrong
GIRL 1
bitch bitch bitch bitch
GIRL 2
you aint be callin ME a bitch r U

CAT FIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE!


The truth, however:
despite this extremely entertaining dynamic between both sexes {i identify with both if you wanted to know; aka feel where im trying to draw a line you fools}, this veil of uncertainty and inexplicable communication, constantly talking about different sides of the same hand, one palm, one spindly snake-skin, we are in need of each other.

Without the extreme beauty of womanhood, men would be unmotivated to do anything great.
and honestly,
vice versa assholes.


Girl 1
Art is so aesthetically pleasing, I absolutely adore art.
GIRL 2
I completely understand your thoughts on the matter, I'm so jovial to have a partner to paint with!
GIRL 1
I just love to paint, you know. Painting starts with one thing and ends up being a completely different story, it changes right in front of you, it's art.
Girl 2
If only these fools around us knew how great art is!

The way men see it (and we adore you):
GIRL 1
OMG ART IS SO KEWL!!

GIRL 2
yea I NO ive NEVer fouND NE 1 to PAint WITH itS SOOOoOOO FUNNN

GIRL 1
LETS DRAW A BANANA

GIRL 2
NO A SWIRL

GIRL 1
WelL ThatS like A baNANa INTO a SWIRL! like THat's what Art IS U no, u STart with SOMethin and DEn it becomes Somethin DiffERRnent Thats ARt That's SWIRL

GIRL 2
iu NOOOO


-------------
and we breathe softly and look at each other, thinking how lucky we are to be in the presence of princesses. even if they ARE six years old.

------------------

on an ending note i'd like to say, we understand you better than you think. why? because here, explicitly, you can find out that gender roles are complete bullshit. sure we have natural desires into what we seek out in mates, but you know the deal. i could wear a tutu and get away with it for twenty years [HEY THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING STOP USING FAULTY PUNCHLINES!]

TERESA
George, you honestly have no idea what I was talking about, me Ali and Claire all listened to the same song by CARIBOU, it was SO amazing, that we all had this one collective thought, this bond session, it was so amazing.

GEORGE
honey, can you pass the honey, it's in the bear

TERESA
you just dont GET it! you never listen to me, you'll never understand me AAAH!

GEORGE
i said it's in the bear. you know i was the one that GAVE you that caribou album

TERESA
ITS NOT THE SAME THING I HATE YOU!!

(its fun to tease, wouldn't you say? ^_^)

love,
-g