light it up my darling, you have to light it before you smoke it. green goblins all over the place making me dizzy when things get difficult, when i sense myself going crazy again, what else can i do?

speak out more! be more aggressive! spend time with those who want to spend time with you!

i always end up hanging up the phone or not answering any of my calls for a week. i don't do it on purpose, i just sort of get delayed in my head. like for instance, i'll see that mary bear is calling and i just won't pick up, knowing that we probably would only get to see each other for half an hour anyway. i don't like salvaging friendships when i'm only allotted a certain amount of time. i feel terrible whenever someone tells me i didn't pick up and they really wanted to hang out with me. i also feel terrible when i start thinking too much. i always say that thinking is so important, read read read, write write write, but in all honesty the people who don't think at all have it way better than i do. this false sense of superiority isn't doing it anymore.

but in the end,
i'm going to go for a ride on my bicycle.
-george