the only thing i want to do is spend time with people
but i find it hard
with her -
we spend less and less time together,
our phones hardly connect,
so we hardly do too.
so i am stuck delivering stuffed animals and broken writing
dreaming of possibilities,
learning french,
developing a healthier body,
working on my sincerity and truth,
always realizing at the end of a day or minute or thought
that there is nothing i can do to change her mind
and people are always saying to not worry about things you can't control
but what are you supposed to do when she is standing right in front of you and you can't help but feel terrible? how does one just stop feeling things?

everyone's wondering the same thing and i don't have an answer. it's hard to meet people when you don't really want to.