1. exploratorium

a. we timed our jumps to make silhouettes
i. i tried to lift laura on my shoulders, i felt myself falling backwards and with that my chances of muscledom had forever gone away
ii. the little boy right next to me could jump much higher than me
iii. not enough magnets

b. we listened to a blind man guide us around bart
i. blindatherapy isn't the same as chemotherapy (remember that. blindatherapy is much sexier)
ii. being blind reminds me of staring at a wall all day

c. we saw with our eyes different shades of
i. gray
ii. black
iii. white
o. there was a cheshire cat(white rabbit is why i put this section under white. also, i think it's funny that i used the letter o here. i could've used any letter but i was thinking of you, orangutan) and laura stopped to take a picture of it. this is because her boy back home is in love with alice in wonderland (sort of like how much i enjoy the movie ALICE). i thought about it and laughed
then

d. we lost our stickers
i. they fell off shakespeare's forehead and george's tummy (faggy speak, note dana gould later)

2. pier 39

a. mrs. field's cookies


b. bubba gump's
i. DELICIOUS
garlic bread. "space isn't as good as this garlic bread" (i thought that, can you quote thoughts)
ii. because i always find the need to impress laura (goddamn queen of hair, a triceratops couldn't budge that crazy doo [i know]) i tried to cover up the fact that i've been a bit shy with exaggerations about my life. we ended up leaving bubba gump's (i wish i could talk about this more, i think i will add to corollary i)
and since i sort of trapped myself with these exaggerations, i had no idea how to solve the problem i didn't even have. we ended up driving across the golden gate bridge and back (san francisco has the most WONDERFUL drivers!!!) and though we were both kind of pissy there wasn't anything in the world that could hold us back from


3. THE WRATH OF BIRDSEED
a. fucking leperhead
i. lepers lose their arms. leperheads lose their hair before the age of 23. because i have outwardly insulted someone who used to have cancer, i'm pretty sure my veins are going to explode*.
*note, i went to safeway and you know those free blood test things they have outside bathrooms [why are they always outside bathrooms by the way? i suppose to get it all taken care of in one fell swoop] and i said to myself "sure i'm probably great" and after squeezing out all possible beneficiaries to my cause, the machine said that the blood pressure in my arm was hideous and that i was high in all categories.
this is when i thought to myself, "STOP THE CIGARETTES!"

b. this has nothing to do with birdseed, nothing. i just wanted to say wrath

4. COBB'S COMEDY CLUB
a. MC
i. he made a make a wish foundation joke. it was okay.
b. DANA GOULD
i. of, the simpsons
ii. had hilarious physical comedy (regarding angry blowjobs) that i had never seen before.
iii. made me realize all the problems i will have over the next ten years are not real problems
iv. made a joke about "talking faggy" and how it isn't homosexual to talk faggy, straight guys talk faggy, and laura nudged me on the arm with her elbow a few times and i punched her out of her chair and threw her into a vat of celebrities
"colin powell, it is delightful to see you here in my teacup!" she would say

c. PATTON OSWALT
i. incredibly funny and drunk
ii. heartwarming and in love with san francisco
iii. his style is incredible
iv. glasses make him look about 68 and wise beyond his years

so, in essence
it was a pretty fucking nice evening. garlic bread and comedy, how can i complain?



epilogue:
tony instant messaged me last night asking for advice about life, and since i wasn't home (i dropped off some books to dasha and then went over to alan's [he was drunk and hilarious looking, sitting there alone with an expression of complete complacency on his couch {when i walked in, i mean}]) laura took care of everything. she talked of small beauties all around us (one quality which makes her one of my favorite people in the world) and how we must take our time to explore the world or else it'll pass us by without us ever raelly enjoying it. i never told tony that it was laura talking to him (he called me a sage and a great writer, little does he know how much [naturally this is the case i believe] of an artist that girl is), but i think she got the point across (laura made me laugh by saying that we couldn't tell him because that would make TWO people smarter than him, and since we think we're screaming idiots we didn't think it would help anyone in the longrun).
enjoy life pals
we're going to see the flaming lips tonight




addendum A
great minds think alike. note the garlic bread fiasco, every smart person in the world will tell you that garlic bread from bubba gump's is goddamn delicious
also note,
us endless optimists will forever tell you that we want to be something more than we are. little do we know how much of an impact we will make in the future without meaning to cause such a big stir (just kidding, my stir will be most extravagant and explosive), noticing little things and helping those along the way.
hold hands cupcake men, your frosting is about to be eaten the hell off