"the most depressing thing ever is when someone is about to laugh and then they just end up coughing (horribly!)" - teresa (on me today- so so sick)

i'm also mad that my supposed best friend dasha isn't picking up her phone, though it is midnight and she's usually asleep around eight or so. i don't feel like calling anyone else (teresa's answering machine is depressing at night, exponentially more depressing when listened to repeatedly - the same holds true for everyone though), and dom did his work this morning and tonight. im less sick but more sick than before and it's his fault!

my head is hazy like usual. my pal anastasia said i could come by, but to first warn me that she wasn't doing any drugs anymore. it was sort of unsettling, i was scared that that's how i'm viewed by people i love (i know it's partially true, i mean i'm aware of it, but i hope people understand that i'm not a MANIAC or anything), like a bumbling spacey drug addict - and i suppose the fact that i'm having these thoughts means good things

i dont' feel like writing anymore