TERESA
hi!!!

GEORGE
hey librarycard. *takes her by the waist and holds her close to him. they look into each other's eyes and he kisses her passionately*

TERESA
well where'd that come from??

GEORGE
*growls*
mmmmm

===================

EARLIER TODAY

(GEORGE has been taking online personality tests while waiting for DOM to come over. DOM catches him in the act and says )

DOM
BACHELOR, EH??

GEORGE
*sort of flips around nervously* YEP

DOM
i wonder which one i am *looks through all the different answers*

GEORGE
you're probably the billy goat

DOM
no, i was one of these nicer ones. like the pool boy or something

GEORGE
i wonder what the bachelor means

DOM
it probably just means we're the same you're just a lot hornier than i am *laughs*

GEORGE
*laughs* i guess you're probably right! *laughs start to get maniacal*

DOM
*maniacal laugh of his own*

GEORGE AND DOM
JAMBA JUICE!!!

------------------

GEORGE
... you look beautiful, is all! is that a new dress? who cares? take it off!

TERESA
(seemingly taken aback at this sudden rush of vigor and passion but goes with it)

*curtain falls on them tussling and tugging on each other, until vividly TOO MUUUUUUUUCH*

------------------


TWO YEARS EARLIER

GEORGE
(looking at TERESA's new [straight] haircut and gazing into her eyes again)
*THINKING = "how are eyes so blue? i wonder if i can make an skyce cream cone with these"*
you're so... pretty.

TERESA
well so are you

GEORGE
(sort of flattered because no one has ever really called him that before in that way) aw well thanks.

TERESA
wanna tussle?

GEORGE
YOU READ MY MIND!
-------------------
DAVEICORN
im hungry!!

NAOMICORN
well you can't eat! i spent our last twenty dollars on unicorn weed

DAVEICORN
how come we can only smoke UNICORN weed? the regular stuff is cheaper

NAOMICORN
my mother didn't raise me to be a hussy dave!

DAVEICORN
sorry dear

NAOMICORN
now where are those whips?

DAVEICORN
i thought you had them

NAOMICORN
they're YOUR whips!

DAVEICORN
ohhh right. *scrambles inside of his puffy hair and eventually pulls out a vibrator*
is this it?

NAOMICORN
NO!! check the other tuft!

DAVEICORN
*searches through it* nope *sad*

NAOMICORN
*upset at first but resigned to the fact that nothing is going to get accomplished and suddenly remembers that dave was hungry in her brief moment of sympathy*
aw davie. let me get you some lettuce

DAVEICORN
OKAY!! *plops down on a beanbag chair and falls asleep. he snores loudly*

NAOMICORN
asleep again? (all cast members pop out from the shadows)

*CAST*
THATS OUR DAVIE!! *laugher*

CURTAIN