for all the people arguing against me (can't blame you) -

with every day the passes here, i invariably find ways to hate myself and hate who i am, simply because i am reminded of the one circumstance that felt right for me, and how because of my looks and attitude and stature i was abandoned. and despite what anyone says, i'm sick of letting people say that's not how it was, but it was, and why the fuck would i want to stay around a group of lousy people who don't give a fuck how i'm doing?

and it's not that i'm saying this about everyone. my friends are my family, they know that. but it's finally time for everyone to know that i'm dreadfully unhappy right now. i'll type all this outrageous bullshit and when it comes time to forget the actual memories i've been pining over, i'll break down sobbing - and, not to shine light on unhappy events, but i'll end up buying presents or buying lunches or accepting the fact that i don't exist except when people want me to, and so,

i'm done

i'll probably be staying one more week, or until i get my passport. this week is going to be busy, filled with goods being sold, and halloween being here. i think i'm going to go do an open mic with ellery on halloween, and that'll probably be my last one here in the bay, so yeah. oh, and i should probably go see kady on sunday like we had arranged. but other than that, let's make plans, people who know that i'd love to see them