Liz: Teresa's really nice. When I called her trying to find you and I was crying she was just like, "Oh... oh jeez." I mean what kind of girl can say that and still be cute? She's ADORABLE!
George: !!! I KNOW! ! !
Dad: You know the only thing I don't like about her? The fact that she's a VEGAN! My only son is only going to eat VEGETABLES!
George: I'm not really that much of a vegan. I really should be though, I've felt awful lately.
Mom: Does Teresa eat EGGS????!!
George :Um.. mom...
Dad: Of COURSE she doesn't! *to my aunt M.O. We call her aunt emmy.*
Aunt Mandarin Orange: What does his girlfriend look like?
George: She's NOT my girlfriend!
Liz: Oh yes she is, did you hear her say oh jeez?
George: Yeah, god she's cute
Dad: She looks like NICOLE KIDMAN! *i said this ONCE to my mom, and i think they've called her that like two million times about*
Emmy: NICOLE KIDMAN! Really?! It's like the real life nicole kidman and tom cruise! You're so short george!
George: T_T

[Paul Krumm, ENGLISH TEACHER shouts from outside: "WEB CHAT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE NOT PROPER ENGLISH! LEARN TO WRITE, HERE'S THE BIBLE! JUDE, GIDEONS, ZACHARIAH!!"]

=-=====----==

Laura: You never explained yourself. I don't think we grew apart. I think I deserve an explanation.
George: *takes a cab to Salt Lake City, head out the window, voice trailing off in the distance* Whaaat's that??! Yeah I'm Gooiiing to caaaaliiiiforrrnniiaaa!!

(In real life though, I'm very very happy Laura chose to take theatre in school. And I'm glad she found someone to be creative with. She needed that more than anything, I just couldn't take on any more burden. What kind of a thing is that to say? I should learn to phrase things better. It's more like THIS:

"I always like to meet new people, and hopefully our paths will cross in the future."

[I learned that from the sex tape])

--------------------
On Sex:

Mom: (to my uncle Ethan) Do you remember when George spent all that money when he was like TEN on all that PORNOGRAPHY?!
Ethan: It's NATURAL! No WONDER he has good taste now! He has EXPERIENCE!
George: Oh HELLO Mr. poison! Put er there buddy.

-----------------------

On old sacred friendships:

Dasha: SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI
George: SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI

(every girl in the world who I've dated): What?! I thought sushi was OUR food! You lied to me!

---------------------------------

On being more of a man:

Dom: How many steaks today? Seventeen?
George: SEVENTEEN MORE PLEASE