Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The reality of high school and life afterwards (with an introduction to karma)

The reality is, the kids who gave you a hard time in high school won't be failures in life. They'll eventually straighten out and become good people. the kind of people who will ultimately be your boss, or pump punches into you for the local card shark. However, Howie Craft felt that karma needed to balance out in the universe. So, after his dear friend Sean had been gangbeaten by a group of sophomores (it was ten on one), Howie gathered up twenty six men and one woman to form the trey cubed army. The woman, Judy Scarlett, was both the camerawoman and the one who thought of the name. Two years passed after Sean got the living shit beat out of him, and everyone had basically forgotten about the entire thing. Howie and his army did not. They went to each of the kids' houses and kidnapped them one by one.

The first boy they started with was blindfolded, stripped naked, and had his eyelids staped to a light blub. He was then sent to a whorehouse, where he was royally fucked by two black men. Judy Scarlett taped the entire thing.

The second boy was raped with a can of pepsi and and his face smashed in by Harrison Bergeron. Bergeron was the son of Kurt Vonnegut and was seven feet tall. While he was being raped, the boy was shown the film of the first boy getting fucked by the giant cocks.

Boys three through eight were forced to dress up as women and were sent to Somalia, where their lips were disked and their lobes were disked and their scrotums were enlarged.

Anyway, the main point of all of this is that people like Howie will eventually get back at people who don't understand what they're doing. The rest will appear on shows like "Montel" and end up working shitty jobs and making about twenty grand a year.

Dasha (the girl of my dreams) and I will be famous authors and film makers. We will be millionaires and will spit on the dreams of those under us.




This story was based on something Kilgore Trout wrote to me in a dream. He was not a homosexual, as he made me believe in the dream.

Friday, November 26, 2004

the trip to boston was wonderful. thanksgiving dinner was different and nice. i liked the little russian cakes. we stayed at ilyas house. the walks were long and arduous, but the adventure was fun. the plane ride was tiring.

i have about 2 dollars in my wallet and not much in the bank. i spent most of what i had left on boston shirts for my parents in the airport. i've decided that im putting too much of a value on money, since in all reality, i don't need any (although it would be nice if we could get those concert tickets). but i have free food and shelter and gas and i have no idea why im so hooked on earning money rather than growing in life. watching dasha answer every goddamn jeopardy question got me thinking. i have a lot of work to do to catch up to how brilliant she is. only reading and reading and sheridan baker and writing and music from now on. no more bullshit, i promise.


(this includes lesser video games dasha and more cool things. like ice skating)

Monday, November 15, 2004

the ugliest of us write in journals. everyone else doesn't need to.

unite! talk! write! plagiarize! love! be sexual!