I'm sitting here in my room. It's very dark in here. It kind of reminds me when I would sneak Grace into my house and we would read her old poetry and feel alive. The sad thing is, I don't really miss Grace that much. I don't know. I just don't need to feel horrible when I'm with her right now.

I had the most awful dream last night. It was about this girl named Lindsay, who was in my drama class last year. We did an acting scene together called "DMV Tyrant" by Christopher Durang. I remember in the beginning of the school year I looked at her and wondered how awesome it would be if we got to talking. And we did. And we were good friends. Later on in the year, however, she started wearing make up and started wearing this hat and started paying attention to what was de rigueur. This really depressed me.

Anyway, the dream was about her coming back to see me. I forgot to mention that she moved to Texas this summer without me knowing. So in the dream she was wearing this white shirt and these red pants that she always wears and she didn't have her hat on, so I could see her pretty brown hair. And all the while she kept on telling me how she missed me and how she wished she was here to see me, so she came to visit me for the weekend. And for some reason I just hugged her, and I looked into her eyes and I felt this sort of attraction between the two of us. And I think we were really into each other. And all throughout the rest of the dream I kept smiling and I kept putting my arm around her, and I kept thinking how I wanted to kiss her. And right when the dream ended, I looked at her and we started making out. And then I woke up.

And throughout this dream I was very happy. And when I woke up I was very depressed, because I realized I really liked Lindsay, and I never told her. And she moved away.

I honestly don't know what to do about things like this. On a side note, it's my grandmother's birthday today, and I forgot to get her a card. I'm going to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek when she gets back though. Hopefully that will be enough.

cya.

-george